We, as human beings, are needy. Many times, we begin to ask God to change that which is out of our control. We ask God for an A on the math test we're about to take. We ask God for a fun weekend. We ask God to help our favorite teams win a game. But why is it that we rarely tell God that we're putting our trust in Him? Why do we fail to ask God to let us be subjects to His plans for us?
Last year, I signed up for a BLUE Missions trip. I originally signed up for a trip with fellow Columbus kids, and I was stoked for an awesome time with guys that I already knew. Then, I received an email that infuriated me. It turned out that I was one of the last ones to sign up for that trip; therefore, I was being moved to High School Trip 2. I only knew two people on HS Trip 2, Mari and Caro, and I was extremely pessimistic about leaving to the DR with strangers. I was annoyed that things were not going "my way."
Upon arriving to the airport, I could not have felt more distant from everyone. After trying to converse with Mari and Caro, getting to know the Belen kids (which went against my morals as an Explorer), and meeting many other girls and guys, I gained a little bit of hope. I thought that maybe if I gave this trip a chance, I'd reap the benefits it had to offer.
Day 1 - the first full day - came. It turned out Naya was actually white chocolate, so we connected. It turned out Eu was that girl that you just always wanted to hug, so we connected. It turned out Laura and Amanda were always smiling, and they projected that smile onto everyone around them, so we connected. Jack turned out to be the funniest kid I had ever had a conversation with due to his brutal yet hilarious comments, so we connected. It turned out that Belen kids were just like me, so we connected. It turned out that Alex liked every song I liked, and he wasn't afraid to dance, so we connected. It turns out the Baltimore Boys were super chill, loved sports, and were always willing to get the job done, so we connected. I loved Spongebob; therefore, I loved Mitch. I loved people that were straightforward - not in a rude manner but rather in a helpful, sincere manner - so I loved Kara. I loved people who were easy to talk to, and I loved bug experts, so I loved Vale. I loved people who had the ability to be hilarious at times yet completely calm at other times, so I loved Manrique. I loved having someone who could hammer for me when I got tired but could have an interesting conversation with me forever when I was wide awake, so I loved Daniel. I loved having someone to sing back and forth with no matter where we were, so I loved Nikki. Then, Day 1 ended. And I realized going to sleep that night that although it took me a day to realize how lucky I was, it came so effortlessly. It seemed as if all of it was meant to be.
Looking back on our trip, it hit me.
Although I wanted things "my way," God didn't. When I asked for answers and favors, God politely denied me. He didn't give me a trip with those I already knew. He didn't answer my prayers immediately. He did what he knew was best for me. He put me on a trip that, in my mind, wouldn't be fun. And it still amazes me how naive and idiotic I could have been to develop such a negative attitude towards His simple "no." Now, I know that rather than asking for what I want, I should ask for God to let me work according to what He wants. I now ask for Him to make me a subject to His plan for me. I ask Him to do whatever He knows is best for me. If He wouldn't have done that, I wouldn't have met all of these amazing people nor would I have had such an awesome experience. Looking back now, I'm more than happy to say I went on the "worst" trip ever.
Whenever you're in a place of darkness, trust the Light. I promise you, whether your problems are petty or extremely severe, there is a reason. The answer - regardless of what you think it might be - is He.